Did you know that the past no longer exists, except in your mind?  That the past is gone, and what you choose to remember is your choice?  

And why does this matter?  Because how you define yourself, your confidence, tends to be based on your past and your experiences.  The thoughts you think about your past affects you, but what happened in the past does not.

Yes what you remember and how you feel about it is completely within your control.  You are narrating the story.  How you’re telling the story, is subjective, it is in some ways just that, our own recounting of a situation.  One which could be told dramatically and sometimes in direct opposition to ours.

Have you ever shared an experience and someone else, a friend of family member recounts it in a completely different manner?  

Because if you’ve been dragging around a negative experience and thoughts about yourself for a few days, a few months, or a few years…this matters.  It shapes and reinforces your perceptions of yourself.

Okay so let’s consider this for a moment. I want you to think of what you perceive as a negative memory for you at work.  Something about you, that you did or didn’t do.  

Now tell yourself the story about this situation.  How would you describe it?  I really want you to consider the narrative you are choosing in the telling of the story to yourself.  

Are you the victim?  Was someone else the villain?  Or are you putting the focus squarely on you?  Was this was your screw up?  Your failure?  

And as you re-tell the story.  How do you feel?  What emotion does the story evoke?  Drop into the feeling, place yourself back into the situation.  How do you see it?

Whenever you experience a negative emotion, anxiety, disappointment, anger, sadness, sorrow, or dread—it’s because you have a negative thought about the past.  

This thought is optional.  Because your past is over.  But the thoughts you have about your past are affecting you right now.

What if your story is completely wrong?  What if you’ve characterized it inaccurately?  Let’s consider that.

Example:  My Story = Cyndi insults her boss in front of his boss 
Example:  Client Story = Not getting the sale

And we do this.  We blame ourselves.  Why choose to consider this our failure or our mistake?  Why choose to remember the past in a way that makes us feel inadequate, or less than?

And this is the choice.  The choice to beat ourselves up, to make ourselves someone the character in the story that was the victim, was victimized or just completely screwed up.  But we don’t have to narrate our past that way.  

 Does your past empower you?  Are you the hero?  Are you the ones who tries and perseveres?

How do you want to characterize your past.  It’s yours to tell.  No one gets to craft your story.  Only you.  You get to make this decision, what you make your past mean for you.  

You can believe that your past has made you the strong capable leader you are today.  Or not.  And that is optional.

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