In these podcast episodes I ask you to take a little peek into your brains. I ask and offer you the chance to identify what you're telling yourself and if it is serving you. Meaning, do your thoughts and beliefs help you to feel good, productive, strong, empowered, confident, competent and, at the end of the day, amazing? Or not.

Because once you bring your thoughts and beliefs to the surface, you have a choice in what actions to take to believe them and continue to think them, or not. This reflection can be life changing. Research suggests that 90% of the thoughts we had yesterday are the same thoughts we will have today. Unless we deliberately change them. 

Think of 2 negative things you've told yourself at work this past week. These thoughts don't serve us. So how do we stop? Did you know we can coach ourselves?  And did you know the best leaders do?

One quick tip for coaching yourself is to ask questions. Your brain loves a challenge, we give it a problem to solve, it will start seeking solutions.  You know as we coach others, we are taught to ask questions (see Podcast 16 Strategic Questions).  Start with open ended questions.

Asking ourselves questions can move us from self flagellation to action. In coaching, we ask questions to engage and move toward problem solving.  How will these questions help us solve our perceived problems?

Or will they?  And what did you notice about my questions? They’re all open ended. They all begin with why.  

Why questions are SO tricky!  They aren’t very useful. Why?  Because why questions immediately trigger our defensive mechanisms. They have Implications: Why didn’t you? Why haven’t you? Why aren’t you?  Don’t you think you should have?  Could have?

Example:  Why am I so disorganized?  Then I find and list the reasons.  This list of answers reinforces our original negative thoughts about ourselves and doesn’t help us to engage in moving forward. In fact, they may make us feel even less effective and able to create the change we want in ourselves. What if we change the first question we ask ourselves, avoiding the why question.  

Options: What is one thing I could do each day to help me feel more organized? How can I carve out 10 minutes a day for planning? What one small action would help me organize my schedule?

These questions engage our brain in solving a problem, rather than ruminating on the reasons for the problem. They are much more focused on forward action. Even if we don’t have the answer immediately, our brain will continue to ponder the question, seek an answer and discover a solution.  

The important shift here is in in the question we ask ourselves. If we ask a question in the negative, our brains will identify negatives (many times the reasons we’re being as productive or constructive as we want to be). If we ask our brains something constructive and positive (i.e., forward moving), our brain will answer that question.

And that will make all the difference in coaching ourselves for positive growth and change.
And this is what creates a shift in our identify and in they way we talk to ourselves. 

This is how we change. And once you create this habit for yourself, you will be a much more effective coach for others around you. Because rather than focusing on the problem, you focus on solutions.

This is the bes

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