I would argue nothing.

Lately I’ve been surrounded by mental health challenges, in myself, in those I love, work with, in classes, coaching and well, in society.  

And when I say mental health, I mean people feeling mentally healthy. Are we cognizant of the current state of our minds and how that is affecting our lives? How clear and constructive is it working for us? And are we paying attention to it?

Growing up, strength was valued in our family.  We were taught to tough things out, persevere, keep going, be strong.  Don’t ask for help.  Figure it out.  And this is not a commentary on parenting at all, my parents taught us strong values and work ethic—and for that, I am thankful.

On a leadership assessment I did, I scored in the 96+ percentile on Enduring—described as persistence, determination and tenacity. Until recently in my life—I thought of this as a virtue.  But, it begs the question, when does a strength become a weakness? 

Because what happens when we need a rest. We need a break. Before we break. Then what?

Here's how it works:  First we notice we’re getting stressed. We read the signs, we know our emotions. We feel the emotions, realize the thoughts causing the stress or anxiety.  Then before it gets worse, we reach out for help. We take care of ourselves. We make good choices.  We pay attention to the emotions. We give ourselves grace and compassion. We take the necessary space to process it all. We rest and regroup. Then we determine how to prevent those challenges, how to learn from them.  (Insert chuckles here.)

It all makes logical sense, what we're supposed to do. Then, why don’t we do these things for ourselves?

Maybe because we aren’t even aware that it’s happening. Or perhaps when we do we just figure we’ll keep pushing forward. Momentum. We’re already on a path, keep trudging along.

Or we’re influenced by the expectations of those around us. How we’ll be judged.

I think about our duty as leaders to be vulnerable, and to be transparent, and to be good role models. And what are we role models for if not good mental health?  Isn’t that just as important, if not more than modeling good work practices or processes or facilitating meetings effectively?  

How are we coping with the stress of not just work challenges but life challenges?  Are we pushing through when we should be taking a nap?  Are we persevering when we should be breathing?  Are you caring for your brain and what goes on in it?  Are you speaking to yourself with the compassion you give to others? 

Here are things we hear all the time, I want to hear it differently this time and see what might apply to you right this very minute.

1.    Know the signs of your stress and anxiety. Be conscious of when your mental health is being compromised. Check in regularly with your mind and thoughts.
2.    Stop. Pause and reflect.  Take a breath.  Bring the issues to the surface. Identify the problem.  Write it down.  Identify what you are feeling and why.
3.    Talk to someone.  It is courageous to seek help, it’s not a weakness. 
4.    Find some perspective.  Try something new:

a.    Review your lifestyle & habits.
b.    Get away.  Plan a vacation.  Need adrenaline, get some.  Need peace, find some.
c.    Mediate, journal, walk, allow your head to clear—then find clarity, problem solve, make decisions, chose a course of action.
d.    Find humor.

5.    Take the time, energy and money to get on track mentally. 

Be the Best Leader You Know

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