Leaders who have the ability to lead under pressure garner more respect and followership.  This is not to imply that a display of emotions is not valuable—it absolutely is.  This is the difference between responding appropriately with emotional reactions in a manner that builds trust and aligns with our intentions.

So,  fill in the blank:

• It makes me so angry at work when others:
• If I could change one behavior about people I work with, it would be:
• If only people I work with would _____ I would be so much less stressed
• I get so frustrated at work when:

These can be our triggers.

Triggers

• Triggers consist of thoughts, feelings, and events that seem to “trigger” an automatic response from us.
• The word “trigger” is important here because the idea is that our reaction occurs automatically.  It might seem as if the emotional reaction is completely involuntary.
• The truth is that this reaction, like everything else that we do, is a choice. Learning how to identify our personal emotional triggers is the first step to taking control over how we choose to respond.

By Laura K. Schenck, Ph.D., LPC

What I’ve also come realize is that are triggers are connected to our values.  If I value honesty and integrity, I’ll probably get pretty upset if I believe someone is lying to me.  If I value hard work and dependability, I’ll likely be ticked off at those I think aren’t putting in the time or effort required to do the work.

Here’s the process:  1. Trigger, 2. Automatic Thought, 3. Destructive Response

It’s important for you to be aware in advance of your triggers, so you can maintain self-composure. Our challenge then is to disrupt this process. 

Changing our response to triggers is a challenge because the more consistent we react in a certain way, the stronger the neuropathway is in our brain.  It's a superhighway to a potentially destructive response.

To disrupt triggers:

1. Trigger: Effective self-management begins with self-awareness.  Be proactive and recognize the people, issues and challenges that de-rail you.
2. Feel the Emotion: Emotions are felt.  Think about anger and how it shows up…like warmth, our heartbeat speeds up, muscles feel tight, shortness of breath, etc.  We must get good at identifying when we are experiencing an emotion, in order to interrupt the pattern.  Pay attention to your body.
3. Identify the Thought Error: Our thoughts produce our emotions, identify the thought creating the negative emotion.
4. Reframe: This is a critical piece of altering our reactions.  We have to ask ourselves:
   • What are the facts?
   • Am I exaggerating?
   • Is there another explanation for this situation?
5. Respond Constructively: Choose your thought and emotion.  Respond with composure.

Take action:

1. Do a value or triggers inventory.
2. Look at your patterns, your triggers are generally your values violated.
3. To create awareness, do a daily reflection, look for patterns.
4. Identify possible thought errors and possible ways to reframe negative thoughts. 

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